Sicklyknitter

Blaze of every breath

Monday the 31st of May, 2021

The sINgSPIRE Virtual Choir recorded a song earlier this year. I’d been really unwell for quite a while and didn’t have the breath to record it in one take. It left me a little despondent, but our choir leader is so supportive and spurred me on. Something I’m ever so grateful for, as I don’t …

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April is the cruellest month

Friday the 9th of April, 2021

I’m halfway through week three of intravenous antibiotics, and it’s taking its toll. I’m feeling quite worn down, and life is heavy. Sometimes it’s difficult to distinguish between the side effects of the drugs and the infection, and I can’t shake the fear that I’ll finish this course of IVs and still feel sick. This …

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The life in front of me

Monday the 4th of January, 2021

A while back, they spoke on radio about how the creation of one’s identity depends on our engagement within a social context. We only become ourselves in relation to others. The negotiations to establish the boundaries of the self occur only in collision with the surrounding world. Not dissimilar to Martin Buber’s theory about the …

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Knit me a river

Sunday the 23rd of August, 2020

One of my earliest memories as a child is being in the cellar at my Mormor’s while she wound yarns or sat at the loom weaving. I can still smell the unique combination of dust, wool, and the log burner. And I remember the clickety-clack of the treadles and the rhythmic beating of the batten. …

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Between me and the rest of it

Friday the 27th of March, 2020

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while, but it’s been difficult for several reasons. One reason is my very conflicted feelings about this whole COVID-19 situation. I feel them all: annoyance, anxiety, fear, gratitude, calmness – often all at once. Just over two weeks ago, the WHO declared this outbreak a pandemic. …

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I take photographs to dance away sadness

Thursday the 5th of March, 2020

I finally got to see Tim Walker: Wonderful Things at the Victoria and Albert Museum last week. To be honest, it’s the whole reason we were in London, and something I’ve been looking forward to for months. Walking through the exhibition, I had a very real emotional reaction. Entering the different rooms, one steps straight into …

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We Give Voice

Wednesday the 15th of January, 2020

Every so often, I get asked, ‘How can you sing with your lungs?’ I never know how to answer other than to say I work quite hard at it. However, I’m pretty sure I would have given it up by now had it not been for my very good friend and singing teacher, Ashley Ballou-Bonnema. …

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Connected by thin threads

Sunday the 5th of January, 2020

We spoke about life, my Mormor and I. I opened the window to my soul for her to see. She saw the little girl sitting alone in a corner, and the woman dancing to Lady Gaga in the moonlight. She saw my passions, fears, and joy. When I was frustrated about the state of the …

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