Sicklyknitter

Through the windy, snowy dark

Wednesday the 20th of September, 2023

It’s very grey outside today – again. The sun has barely been out since July, and isn’t supposed to appear again until the weekend again. It’s been miserable, but it got me thinking. Usually, when the weather is gloomy, as it is today, I feel quite defeated. The best I can manage is to brew …

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Thin as rice paper

Thursday the 20th of July, 2023

Once a month or so, I meet up with some friends to tell stories. It’s a lot like a book club, but instead of reading a book we draw a prompt from our storytelling cards from The Moth. Last time we met, the prompt was Burnt: when the candle burns at both ends. Life and …

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Catch me when I fall

Monday the 3rd of April, 2023

As a young adult, I had a small circle of friends with cystic fibrosis. But as we grew older they started to get really sick and die. Illness is a funny thing; I guess it either brings you together with other people in the same predicament, or it forces you to search with urgency for …

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The destroyer

Thursday the 1st of December, 2022

It’s not easy to accept this disease for what it is, a destroyer; causing so much pain, both physical and emotional. Even so, as I share this from my journal, just remember that I’m a proper bitch! This is just a glimpse into what’s been going on. Besides, now, a fortnight later, I have regained …

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A page too white and ink too thin

Wednesday the 16th of November, 2022

I shift through phases where I feel the need to describe my world, because living in an undescribed world is too lonely. I’ve spent so much time grappling with this disease, and naturally, it has shaped me. Yet, I can’t quite suss out how to integrate the complications of it into the world around me. …

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The danger of staying quiet

Tuesday the 27th of September, 2022

I was in my teens when I first became aware of the neo-Nazis in our town. They were terrifying with their bomber jackets, boots, and shaved heads as they marched along our main shopping street. Always in groups. I made sure never to make eye contact, staring at the ground as they walked past. My …

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On oublie notre histoire

Tuesday the 13th of September, 2022

September: the first autumn month and often the month of the Jewish New Year. Every four years, it’s also the month of three Swedish elections (general, regional, and municipal). Every election brings anguish and heartbreak for some. Resigning from my political engagements earlier this year has saved me from some of the agony. I haven’t …

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I want to live boldly

Friday the 11th of June, 2021

The sun’s been out for a while now, bringing everything and everyone to life, like a shower of energy. It makes me leap out of bed in the mornings, warms my skin, and soothes my soul. It fills me with hope! Yet, I’m in an odd place emotionally right now – probably because I’m a …

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